Friday, July 13, 2018

Communication with each party identically misjudging the other

A woman at Starbucks greeted me when I walked in, “Hi, Pumpkinseed Eater!” I had no idea who she was and couldn’t remember any pumpkin inside jokes. So I smiled and said, “Oh, hi! So nice to see you! How are you?” For a millisecond she had deer in the headlights but said, “Hi … uh ... good to see you!” I then realized she hadn’t said ‘hi’ to me, but must have been recounting a story to her friend. So there we were: Two people who didn’t know each other both pretending that we did (waiting for context clues that would never come)!

It reminded me of vacationing in Paris when a man asked me directions in French. He spoke slowly and deliberately. I hadn’t spoken French in three years but did my best to answer him in French. Then I overheard him rapidly translating for his wife in English. We were both American tourists: Two native English speakers thinking the other was French!

I wonder if there is a technical term for communication where both sides equally misjudge their audience.